"B'ohhhh.""You'll probably like this. It looks manly."
"I've seen you rent movies with guns before!"
"He was holding a gun on the cover...AND wearing a suit."
"The whole thing's probably going to be like this!"
"What?"
"Those tattoos look fake. They couldn't find an actress with real tattoos?"
"What's up with the sound?"
"I thought this was a real movie."
"Why do all women love him?"
"(Imitating Dolph Lundgren) Hey."
"He shouldn't be the narrator."
"Seriously?! Their footsteps are louder than the dialog!"
"Did she just ditch the kid?"
"You had a crush on Brigitte Nielsen??"
"Why is he so aggressive at love making?"
"Oh no Dave! I'm Dave in the movie."
"So is he an assassin?"
"Why are we really trying to watch this?"
"They're bringing the maid?"
"Maybe he's just difficult to work with...all the roid rage."
"Come on!"
"These voiceovers are cracking me up."
"No, I'm Dave. I died."
"He's gotta be, like, 60! Late 50's."
"So she's just maid-ing there now?"
"Why did he say that?"
"Hey, why did he say that?"
"I don't know what's going on. This world doesn't make sense."
"I'd never do him in a million years."
"What?! Dave's been dead for, like, an hour! He needs a mourning period!"
"It's a set up."
"Ohhhhh noooo, a dead dog."
"Me too. I knew it too."
"That guy from the beginning."
"I think we're supposed to be shocked by this if we knew what was happening."
"SLEEP!"
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